Amanda aka CockWhore's Journal

Subject:	Dammit....I'm becoming emo!!!
Time:	1:18 am.
Mood:	emo.
Music:	Bright Eyes - The Calendar Hung Itself.

Bright Eyes - The Calendar Hung Itself

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head? And does he sing to
you incessantly from the place between your bed and wall? Does he walk around all day at
school with his feet inside your shoes? Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with
you. Does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched and does he cry
through broken sentences like I love you far too much? Does he lay awake listening to your
breath? Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes. Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there are a thousand more that you won?t ever see but most hold inside
yourself eternally. I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death. In every
city, memories would whisper, Here is where you rest. I was determined in Chicago but I dug
my teeth into my knees and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine. You are my
sunshine, my only sunshine I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her. She
had eyes bright enough to burn me. They reminded me of yours. In a story told she was a little
girl in a red-rouge, sun-bruised field and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was
concealed. And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands. And it stretched for centuries to a
diary entry?s end where I wrote, You make me happy when the skies are gray You make me
happy the skies are gray and gray and gray. Well the clock?s heart it hangs inside its open
chest with its hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself but I will not weep for those
dying days. For all the ones who have left there are a few that stayed. And they found me here
and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.

I've been listening to this song over and over. I dig it. But it's emo!?!?! I swear I'm becoming emo. Like my clothes and the way I dress looks kinda emo-ish. And I"m starting to like emo-ish bands. Or at least a few emo songs. DAMMIT!!! But I'm not gonna sell out by becoming vegan sXe. Haha.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:	11:56 pm.
Mood:	very very very horny.
Music:	Bright Eyes - The Calendar Hung Itself.

I just saw another rad movie....My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was damn good. Kinda of a chick flick, but one that guys would enjoy. Very funny and cute. So it's like 11:15....the night is still young. And what to do? Sit at my computer.....go out and buy some booze and drink alone and sit at my computer.....or do all of the above and masturbate. I'm horny right now. Damn.....I wish I had a cock to suck on. Someone to lick my pussy. I haven't fucked in over 2 years. And my pussy craves cock that it isn't going to get. Dammit! Where's a booty call when you need one!?!?!? I should have stopped at the Adult Emporium in South Bend before I left. I need a dildo or a vibrator or something!!!!! But I'm a cheap ass. Why pay $20 for something I can do with my hands/fingers??? But I really want something cock like to stick into my hot wet pussy. Shit.....this is a dirty entry. Very dirty just like me. Haha. I'm dirty Amanda. And my mind is in the gutter. If I would let myself fuck a guy, damn...his dick would love me. I'd be like wildfire in bed. I'd fuck him hard and long. But since I haven't fucked in awhile, I'll probably get too sore and can't last too long. I just checked my pussy and it's wet. And tastes wonderful. Yes....I do taste myself. It's nothing horrible. I don't know what I taste like. But I find myself kinda bland tasting. Maybe a little sweet. But yeah...I'm like super horny right now. Like in the movie it showed the main character making out and kissing this really really fine guy. And there's just something about seeing 2 people romantically kissing that turns me on a lot. Porn-o kissing is the worst. It's all about sticking the tongue out. It's just too out there for me. And it's just so lesbian porn-o. Like it's not romantic at all. There's just something about romantic passionate sex that turns me on. Like it's real. It's not all about trying to get the other person off. It's all about affection and love. And that's what I see sex is. It's love. But it can be out getting the other person off. But in a romantic loving way. Damn....if I had one of my crushes over right now...damn...I would want to be all over them. I'd be aggressive tonight. OK...well time to read some erotica or look at some porn-o or fantisize about a certain hottie back in South Bend. ;)

Peace, Love, and My Hot Wet Throbbing Cunt

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman or Should I Say, Not A Virgin, Not Yet A Real Singer
Time:	6:00 am.
Mood:	tired, pukey, sick, hungover.
Music:	none....my head hurts a little.

So I rented the Britney Spears movie, Crossroads tonight, I have it for a few more days if anyone else wants to see it. I hate the fucking bitch. The only reason why I rented it, was to make fun of it. And that was damn fun, especially when you're drunk. It's like watching the Spice Girls movie. You're just gonna make fun of it anyways. Britney's acting was horrible. Not very believable. Basically the movie is about this road trip her and 2 childhood friends go on. They weren't really friends anymore. They kinda separated when they got to high school or whatever. One is like the popular girl. The other is trailer park trash and pregnant. And Britney is Miss Valedvictorian. Pulease!!!!! And she was going to go to college to become a doctor and get this double majoring in Chemistry and Biology. What a fucking lie!?!? What really pisses me off is that Britney is originally kind of a brown-brunette. But of course she has to be one of those blonde slut singers. Nothing against blondes. But I don't get why so many brunettes want to be blonde. What's so attractive about being blonde anyways??? Well the movie was just BAD!!! And that fucking slut ruined Joan Jett's song. It was for some karoake contest. And it wasn't even that great of a performance. I could have done better. And looked more "rock n roll". DAMMIT!!! My favorite part of the movie is when Britney is crying because she visits her mom who left her family when Britney's character was super young, and finds out that she was a mistake and that her mom doesn't want her. The movie is totally unvelievable. Britney's character has never touched a penis. On her senior prom she was supposed to do "it" with her nerdy lab partner she had for 3 years. So he wouldn't be ostracized in college. So you get to see Britney in her panties and bra. And damn....that girl's boobs are so not that big. Like average size. Maybe the size of mine. But she uses super padded push up bra's and duct tape to giver herself cleavage. That dumb slut. But Britney is so not a role model in this movie. She get's drunk in one scene. Off of wine no less. And then she loses her virginity to some guy she met on this road trip. This guy who is like a Matchbox 20/Three Doors Down alternative looking guy. And he's not even that hot. Another funny part of that movie is that Dan Akroyd plays Britney's dad. So basically if you hate Britney Spears, like I do, watch this movie and make fun of her failed acting career. It's a blast. Now if only Avril starred in a movie. That would be fun to make fun of.

I hate that icky feeling you get after drinking too much, where you just feel kind pukey and dry-mouthed. That's what I fucking get for drink on an empty stomach. I don't want a hangover. Cuz if I puke, the toilet in my bathroom is broken. DAMMIT!!!

Peace, Love, and Whatever

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	blah blah blah
Time:	8:49 pm.
Mood:	anxious.
Music:	Coyote Shivers - If.

So I'm finally back at school! FREE AT LAST!!!! YAY! My keyboard has been pissing the fuck out of me. Sometimes when I press the Shift key under the Caps Lock key, it will turn on the caps lock. It's fucking annoying. So I got sprung with a new roomie. She's pretty rad. She's not a Britney Spears wannabe. Praise The Lord!!! She likes T00L and stuff. So right now my room has now loft, couch, or fridge. I'm gonna bunk the beds and buy some folding chairs and maybe buy a fridge. Or have my roomate do that. I want one of those huge bean bag couch mattress things. They are soooo comfy. But anyways...I talked to my roomies mom on the phone for a bit. She said that she loves to clean and just to call her if we want the room cleaned. WTF!?!?! But that's fucking awesome. I can be kinda messy. Just like leaving clothes out and shoes and papers and Diet Coke cans. Nothing too horrible. I just get busy with school and I'm lazy.

Some people may think that it's kinda lame that I'm a senior still living in the dorms. Honestly, the dorms aren't that bad.. The rooms may be kinda small. But they're not too bad. As long as you have a good roomate. Right now my room has it's own bathroom that I don't share with anyone but my roomate. And it gets cleaned once a week. Plus I don't have to cook meals. And it's probably a more balanced diet as well. If I lived in an apartment, my diet would consist of cereal, pb&j, frozen pizza, easy mac, ramen, chef boyardee, and whatever else I can microwave. Plus dorm food isn't half bad. Sure there are guest restricitions....but I break those rules. I've had males over past guest hours. And have never been caught. And in the dorms you can't have alcohol. Well I break that rule too. I'll keep a small bottle or two of some sort of liquor in the freezer. And if I'm in the mood for beer, I'll sneak it in. I haven't been caught yet. I don't think I would be caught, unless I was being noisy causing the RA to come visit me. Or I'll just drink at someone else's place. Plus, at least with Windsor, it's a 5-6 minute walk to the math building. That's pretty nice. I don't mind the walk, except in the winter when it's fucking cold. I hate the cold. Plus you have that nice fast internet connection in the dorm. It's not too bad. The only reason why I would want to live in an apt would be to be able to have a 24 pack of beer in the fridge. But then I could see myself being an alcoholic, and having a beer or two everynight. And that's not good. The dorms have laundry facilities. Which is nice. And in an apt. I would be able to decorate the walls more. But that would just cost me more money that I don't have. I dunno...I guess I might just be a sissy and not want to face the real world yet. Well I did live in an apt last summer and I did just fine. =P

I downloaded some music by Braid. Damn...that shit is sooo emo. I downloaded maybe 15 songs or more. And they all sucked. I hate most emo. It all begins to sound alike. But then again you might be able to say that about all music genres. But there are always a few bands that stick out, I guess. The music genre that's annoying me the most right now is the garage rock trend and the "The" Bands. I like some of the stuff by THE White Stripes, THE Vines, THE Strokes, THE Hives, etc.....The music is kinda punky. I like a few songs. But it's like the new trend in music. It's cool to like indie/garage rock and emo. And then there's the pop-punk-poser crowd. I dunno. I guess I'm labeling people like I always do. It's a bad habit of mine. I stereotype people. Oh well....who doesn't?

I just noticed drool stains all over my pillowcases. Grossness. I should wash those. I've been drooling a lot in my sleep lately. It's so gross to wake up with your face next to a big wet cold spot on your pillow.

Peace, Love, and My Little Pony

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Damn....I'm pathetic
Time:	9:41 pm.
Mood:	lazy.
Music:	Papa Roach - Last Resort.

1. what facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: smile
2. would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: Hells Yeah. Hillary 2004! But it would also depend on her opinions and goals. But it would be great to have a female president
3. would you marry for money?: no
4. have you had braces?: yes. i had some damn crooked teeth. I hade braces and glasses. I was such a nerd.
5. do you pluck your eyebrows?: Yes. I can get somewhat of an uni-brow. It's embarassing. Thanks to my dad's hairy genes and my dark hair
6. do you ever cut or hurt yourself?: I have but I don't want to get into this issue. But I do bump into random objects because I'm a klutz and it leaves me with wierd bruises
7. when was the last time you had a hickey?: Umm....a week ago.
8. could you live without a computer?: I used to be able too...not anymore. I wish I could...
9. do you use icq, aol buddy list, etc.?: AIM
10. if so, how many people are on your lists?: too damn many. and i probably don't talk to half of them. i just leave people on my buddy list to feel impressive
11. if you could live in any past time period, which would it be? The 60's or 20's
12. do you drink enough water?: probably not
13. do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: I leave them on. I get cold feet. But it depends. Like if I just wake up I go bare footed. But if I get home after doing something that requires shoes I leave them on, unless they're really dirty or whatever.
14. What is your favorite fruit?: Bananas!!! Banana kinda rhymes with Amanda
15. do you eat wheat bread or white?: Wheat...white when I'm home
16. what is your favorite place to visit?: London or chicago
17. what is the last movie you saw?: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was on TV today
18. do you kiss on the first date?: Yeah. I like to kiss boys. It's a weakness of mine. But they boy has to make the first move.
19. are you photogenic?: Sometimes
20. do you dream in color or black and white?: color
21. are you wearing fingernail polish? I was but I picked it off. It was this dark metallic green. It was my expensive Urban Decay nail polish. $11 a bottle. But they have some gnarley colors so it's worth it.
23. do you have any dimples?: no
24. do you remember being born?: no
25. why do you take surveys?: I'm lame and bored and they're fun and silly. Plus you get to learn about fantastic me!
26. do you drink alcohol? Oh Yeah
27. did you like or do you like high school?: I fucking hated it. I was ditched by my 2 best friends my freshmen year. Couldn't find a friend I clicked with. I hated all the preppy kids. They were fucking stupid and shallow. And I dated an asshole boyfriend too. But he was nice to me for awhile.
28. what is the most beautiful language?: English
29. when you are asleep do you like being kissed awake?: It depends. If I'm ready to get up..yes. If I want to go back to sleep...no. But I do enjoy it.
30. do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunsets
31. do you want to live to be 100?: I don't think so. I don't want to be all old and have billions of health problems.
32. do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair? No. But I shave ALL of mine. It's kinda gross.
33. do you like salty food or sugary food the most?: Sugar! I'm eating Fruit Loops right now.
34. is a flat stomach important to you?: I wish I had one. I don't want to be super thin. I want a toned tummy. But I've heard from guys that they like my stomach the way it is. It's something to grab and play with.
35. do you or have you played with a ouija board?: I have. It was stupid
36. are you loyal?: Very
37. are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: I tend to be. I don't accept everything. But I try to be very tolerant
38. when you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: off
39. do you believe in magic?: not really
40. do you have nightmares frequently?: Not usually. Just weird freaky dreams. I get nightmares after drinking Bloody Mary's or watching a scary movie.
41. do you like your nose?: Yeah. It's cute as hell pierced
42. do you like abstract art?: Some...
43. do you think you can draw well?: NO
44. do you listen to music daily?: Of course.
45. do you like to watch cartoons?: HELL YEAH!! Adult Swim, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Space Ghost, The Brak Show, Powerpuff Girls, Spongebob, Dexter's Lab, He-Man, She-ra, The Smurfs, David the Gnome
46. at what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: 8 or 9
47. how many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: I own man pairs of shoes. Over 40. But they are dispersed in several closets.
48. do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: It depends on what I'm wearing. But I try to shake things up in my life. I like variety.

YOURSELF
Name: Amanda Lorraine Herzberg
Age: 21
Age you feel: At Home: 5 At School: 21
3 words to describe you: sweet, not-so-innocent, intelligent
3 words to describe how you look: h0t, pleasently plump
What are your guilty pleasures? some pop-punk and nu-metal, disco, pop music, shopping, online quizzes
What's your most traumatic childhood experience? Umm....let's just say mine fucked me up a lot
Do you love your mother? yeah
What's the best way to make a smore? I'm clueless...
Are you a team player? I try
What do you believe in? Fate, God, Jesus Christ, Angels....

LOVE
Have you ever been in love? Yes...twice
Who gives you butterflies? I have no idea
Do you believe in totally platonic friendship with a member of the preferred sex(es)? It's possible. I tend to get along better with males than females for some reason. But it can be hard to not give in to temptation.
Who's your big secret crush? I'm not telling....but I have a few. I'm boy-obsessed. Well not really. But I like boys a lot. And I know of some cute girls too.
Do you believe in True love? yes
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other/associate/right now?: Nope. I wish...kinda
Do you consider premarital sex...evil?: I had pre-marital sex. I lost my virginity when I was 16. I think kids should seriously wait at least some to have sex. Not just fuck whoever. But it's not too evil..
Do you consider premarital sex...necessary? No. One of my roomate's cousins got married a year ago to a girl he date for several years. When they kissed at their wedding, it was their first kiss. That is insane!!!

DRUGS + ALCOHOL
Are you the stonin'/shootin'/smokin'/snortin'/swallowin' type?: I swallow things that aren't drugs. But I have never really done any illegal drugs.
If not a junkie, what's the best drug story you've heard from one of your stupid, substance-addled dumb stupid friends? Hmm....I can't think of any right now. But I do know of some bitchin' stories...
And if not, are you high on life? not really
Do you enjoy and/or frequently drink alcohol? I've probably been drinking every other night or more since I've been home. Free beer. It's great. But at school I only drink on weekends if that. Sometimes on weeknights. Depends on how bad I get anally raped on exams.
What's your favorite type, be it a cocktail or beer or what have you? Honey Brown beer or White Russians
Have you ever used a hose or a funnel to drink? Nope. I should try to bong a beer sometime. That would be fun. I'll probably gag or something. I'm a wimp.

FAVORITE
Quote? "Shut Up and Fuck"
Advice? Be true to yourself
Advice for someone you don't like? go fuck yourself
Movie?: Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
Activity to do on a rainy day? Sleep/Skip Class/Wet T-Shirt Contest
Activity to do with other people? Drink, talk, laugh, dance
Activity to do anytime? smooching, cuddling
Board game? Mouse Trap or Trivial Pursuit
Someone on t.v: Drew Carey
favorite soup: Loaded Potatoe
favorite steak: rare
favorite type of meat: Chicken I'd say
favorite veggie: corn/asparagus/brocolli
favorite fruit: bananas. didn't I answer this already??

ABOUT YOU:
birthday: August 2nd, 1981
birthplace: South Bend, Indiana
hair color: Brown....dyed reddish-auburn now with brown roots
eye color: dark brown
height: 5'6"-5'8"
weight: Do I dare say?? Let's just say that the weight listed on my Driver's Lisence is false. But people say I look 130-135 lbs. I'm not that at all.
ethnicity: Hungarian, German, French, English, Polish, Irish, Scottish, and maybe some Turkish....
hair style: chin length bob with bangs....emo girl haircut
tattoos: 3....green outline of a crescent moon on my lower back, right above my butt crack, ladybug on right hip, black cat walking across the right side of my back.
piercings: 7, 9 if my nipples were still pierced. But i have my earlobes pierced twice, nostril piercing, snug piercing, rook piercing
fave nailpolish color: Urban Decay's Gash...dark metallic red. That or black
fave makeup brand: Urban Decay/Hard Candy
are you a good student? I used to be. But then shit happened and now I suck
do you believe in reincarnation? Yes
do you believe in astrology? Not really. But I do read my horoscope. It has come kinda true sometimes. But that stuff is silly anyways.
what's your sign and does it fit you? Leo. I do love attention and to be in charge. I like the color red. I'm feline like...i scratch and bite and purr when touched in the right places.
wheels: 2000 green Honda Civic
do you have a deep dark secret no one knows except you? Yeah...
do you like your body? At times...depends if i'm having a fat day. or a blah day.
fave pair of underwear: my lucky black pair. those or my tightie whiteys
movie you saw next to last: Indiana Jones and the Ark of the Convenant
book you read last: "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower"
fave pair of jeans: My vintage deadstock 70's Levi's bell-bottoms that I've worn in myself. They have natural wrinkle lines. Plus holes in the crotch area for easy access. And a big long rip below my right ass cheek
fave jacket/coat: Black fleece kitty hoodie
fave article of clothing: My jeans mentioned above or my Judas Priest vintage T-shirt
fave place to buy clothes: Goodwill, Salvation Army, the Gap, J. Crew, Hot Topic, The Alley, Delia's, Pacific Sunwear, Gadzooks
fave model: David Bowie's wife
dream job: famouse fashion designer
have you ever lost someone you loved? not quite. i've had a few relatives die on me.
night or day? night
top or bottom? top
coke or pepsi? diet coke
number of pillows: 2 regular pillows, 2 body pillows
drug of choice: Wellbutrin
what are you wearing right now? Navy blue leisure pants, yellow purdue t-shirt, brown hoodie with a big #1 on the front. neon yellow and purple tiger striped panties
what's next to you on the right? the printer
when do you get up in the morning? as late as possible
who do you talk to the most online? a lot of people
are you part of any online communities? makeoutclub, onlyundiesclub, lipstickandcigarettes, lipstickparty, facethejury, hotornot. i'm very fucking pathetic. Damn

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	If You Sprinkle While You Tinkle, Be A Sweetie And Wipe The Seatie
Time:	8:01 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.
Music:	The Queers - I Hate Your Fucking Guts.

Went to a show last night. It was alright. I saw 4 bands. St. Louis Avenue, Don't Shoot I'm With God, Cantebury Effect, and The Drive. The Drive has a new name now because some other band took it first. But I can't remember the new name. Something like The Honor's Society. And a white rapper named Double B rapped before all of the bands. He fucking kicked ass for a skinny white dude. St. Louis Avenue wasn't that great. They sounded kinda rough. Don't Shoot I'm With God was fucking amazing shit. Very interesting. A mix of so many things. Emo, hardcore, post-punk, electronica, hip-hop, Pink Floyd like stuff. Great shit. Very energetic performers. And their bassist ist sehr gut. That's German for very good. I've seen Cantebury Effect before. They're alright. Not quite the type of music I like. But they're good. And then The Drive played. I've seen them before. They play the poppy-emo kind of songs. Good stuff if you like that type of music. But I'm not a big fan of that stuff. But they were good.

I knew like a handful of people at the show. I was probably one of the oldest persons there. Like 80% of the kids there must be in high school or middle school. They all looked way young and were very annoying. Especially this trio of girls. I think one still had braces. But their screams were so damn high pitched. And they screamed a lot. And they were all jumping around bumping into people and shit. This one girl's ponytail kept on flipping into my face. Very annoying. I hate high school kids. I was probably one of them. But once you get in college you see them as immature. But there are way immature college kids too.

I'm a person who is themselves. I don't like to be like everyone else. I do and wear what I like. Well for us so called "rejects" or "punks" or "emo-kids" or "hardcore kids" or "whatever", there are certain trends in our culture. For example having an entire wardrobe from Hot (Goth) Topic. I admit to shopping at Hot Topic. I like some of their clothes. But my entire wardrobe isn't from that place. I see these preppy looking girls who probably listen to Good Charlotte and Blink 182 and New Found Glory because the guys in it are cute. Which means that they are punk or something. And here they are wearing bondage pants and what not. They're like Avril Lavigne posers. But with out the damn ties. I like some pop punk. But MTV pop punk gets old fast. And a lot of it sounds the same. I like pop punk stuff like The Queers or The Descendents or Screeching Weasel stuff. But I go to shows and like 90% of the people all look like each other. I thought being punk was about being original. Not trying to be like the other punks. I dunno. Like for girls there are certain looks to have. Wear a small band t-shirt or some little boy's baseball shirt with jeans, a studded "punk" belt, flared jeans, Converse All Stars or some sort of skate shoes, and tons of those jelly bracelets so that they go half way up to your elbow. I admit that look is kinda cute. But it gets played out fast. Or there's the hardcore girl look....stretched ear lobes, black Dickies, bandana, black hair, bangs, and some sort of band t-shirt with some band you've never heard of. Then there's the indie-girl look. And then there's the punk girl look. Wearing bondage pants and the like. I just try to dress how I want. I may look "punk" some days. I may look "emo" the next. Who fucking cares!?!?! Same thing goes with the guys. Damn! I've never seen so many denim-clad males in my life. I saw so many jean jackets with super tight jeans with Converse All-Stars or Old-School Vans. And of course there is the super-tight vintage store shirt. Add the black emo glasses. And the new in hair style for males must be the shaggy Strokes look. There's a difference between dressing to fit in and wearing what you like. Shit. I'm not going to dress a certain way so I can fit in with the "emo" crowd or the "punk" crowd. Or fucking whatever. I'm just gonna be ME!

I also saw tons of stretched earlobes last night. That stuff looks alright on some people. I actually wouldn't mind stretching mine a little bit. I just like the way thicker gauge jewelry looks. But shit. Once you stretch your ears out to a certain extent they aren't gonna fucking shrink back. That shit is permanent. Tattoos are permanent. But they can be covered up. Or removed. But to get your earlobes fixed, that's gonna involve plastic surgery. And I have no idea how they would make a person's ear look normal again. I dunno. These are just my thoughts and opinions.

Another trend....buttons. Those one-inch buttons. They're fun. I own quite a few of them. I'll sometimes wear a random one or two on my clothes. But basically they stay on my backpack. Right now like all of them are on this fake motorcycle jacket that Frank wore in Rocky Horror. I haven't had the time to remove them and put them back on my bag. But girls take their, note this, little Dickies messenger bags, and cover the strap with them. And probably most of them are emo or pop-punk bands. Or buttons that say "Cheer Up Emo Kid". I think that's kinda lame. I think my button collection is fucking bad ass. It could kick those girl's button collection's asses. I fucking have NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK buttons!!! And then I have my feminist buttons too. I bet none of them would dare have a button that says "Fear My Tampon". Or "Vaginas Rule".

Another pet peeve. We so called "different" people are against brand names. But these people also must wear their Hurley t-shirts and clothes. Hurley is expensive shit just like Abercrombie. Or they where that clothing brand Blink-182 started. Or Dickies. I admit I do wear name brand stuff. Mostly because I like the way it looks. Shit. I'd wear an Abercrombie shirt if I liked the way it looked enough. Or fit very well. I love the Gap! I like the way their clothes fit thus I shop there. I can see why some people will wear brands for the fit or what not. I love the way Mudd Jeans fit me. But I could care less that they are "Mudd Jeans". I wear what I like. Not to be a brand name label whore.

I barely recognized anyone there last night. People I know that were in the South Bend punk scene years ago didn't know anyone there. The show was held at a coffee shop thus there are going to be the coffee shop preppie kids there. Which was like a good portion of the crowd. But that probably has something else to do with the bands and type of music being played. Like all of the older punk kids have given up their mohawks and studs to live an adult life. They are getting jobs and starting families. Leaving the scene open for a new set of punk kids. Well the type of punk that's popular now is that poppy or emo-ish punk. Some of it is alright. I used to be a big New Found Glory fan. Not anymore. But I still dig their cover CD.

But seriously South Bend needs an all ages place to have shows. There was one, Hoi Polloi. I went there once in high school. To see a friend's band. Actually I had a HUGE crush on the lead singer. Well Hoi Polloi is owned by a super-Christian guy. And he doesn't do it for profit either. I went there when I was 15. I had to beg and plead my mom to let me to go. She didn't want me to go because the place was next to the river and near a gay bar. And she was afraid of me getting raped. Go figure. Shit. She could have dropped me off in front of the place and I would stay inside the entire time. Well she was afraid of me getting in a fight or some shit. What the fuck!?!? From what I've heard from people who went to the Hoi a lot saw maybe 2 fights the entire time. My mom is so paranoid. I managed to go to this show by having my younger brother who was in 8th grade come with me. I guess he was my body guard. When my parents dropped us off, he ditched me to smoke cigarettes with his friends. I was clueless about the South Bend punk scene. I didn't know any of the punk kids at my school. I was stuck in classes with all honors students and preppies. BLEH!!! So I was clueless about all that crap. I didn't really start to get really into punk until college. Then into local shows later on in my college life. But in 8th grade I was a fan of Nirvana, The Offspring, and Green Day. I remember when I bought the Dookie tape....my mom took it away from me. That bitch! She didn't like the lyrics. They had cuss words. And there were some lewd comments about some Uncle. I dunno. My didn't approve. So she took the tape away from me. I bawled my eyes out. Like going to school, I wasn't surrounded by that stuff. My mom is still way too damn over-protective. But once she took away that tape, I made sure to keep my Nirvana and Offspring tapes secret. But when my brother was in 8th grade, maybe even 7th, he was listening to Bone Thugs N' Harmony. Like that's any better than Green Day, lyrics-wise. There were probably worse things on that CD than on my Green Day tape. Yeah....I lived an unfair childhood. But seriously there needs to be an all ages venue in the Bend. It would be nice.

Peace, Love, and Double Standards

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	I'm bored
Time:	6:05 pm.
Mood:	drunk.
Music:	The Vandals.

Which stupid Avril are you?

Morning, day, or night? quiz by maikamariel

What the fuck!?!? I am sooo not a morning person!!

</td>

Visionary, revolutionary, vigilante - these descriptions all fit you well. You are thoroughly disgusted with society and humanity as a whole, and you have several rather diabolical plans to reshape it to fit your designs. You're probably a loner, and most people think you're crazy. That's just because they don't understand, though, and you'll show them someday anyway. Heh heh heh. You are known to become very passionate about many causes, have torrid love affairs, and be seen as a either a demagogue or a hero to the proletariat masses.

Be cool! Take the What Do You Want Out Of Life? Quiz

Find your inner random object! by Emily

Which of Benji's Tattoos Are You?

Take the test, by Emily.

What sex catagory do you fit?
brought to you by Quizilla

What the fuck!??! That is not me!!!

according to the "if i were hated by emily" test, i am...

nair.

i am ...

THE SHIT

according to the rebelsnail.net shit assessment. what kind of shit are you?

according to the "how high is your self esteem?" test, i have...

DECENT self-esteem.

how do you measure up?

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

Where do you fit on the musical food chain?
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Fuck the World
Time:	5:15 pm.
Mood:	pissed off.
Music:	Some track from the new Sum 41 CD.

So alas....another lonely boring evening. I did have plans but I got cancelled on!! Who the fuck would want to cancel on this awesome biatch!?!?! Anyways I was supposed to go hand out with Jeremy tonight. We were gonna go to this seedy bar called Frank's Place near his apartment. It's an old bar. It's been there since at least the 70s. Supposedly my dad's frat house was near that area. And one of his frat brothers was really really really really drunk and walked to Frank's Place completely buck ass naked. And then went inside, sat down at the bar, and ordered a drink. And he got served! I hear more of my dad's frat stories as I get older and older. Well I had planned on hanging out with Jeremy tonight. Travis had called me earlier asking me to hang out with him. But I declined since I had made plans already with Jeremy. DAMMIT!!! So I'm stuck at home on a Friday night with my kitties. It's not that too bad. Either I might get up off my lazy ass and buy me a 40 or something. Or I'll drink some of my parent's wine or beer. I'll probably ending up drinking alone or whatever and sitting in front of the computer screen waiting for someone to IM me. Damn...I sound pathetic. Even my parents are going out tonight. Sometimes I swear their social life is better than mine. I can't wait to be back at Purdue. And be surrounded by my friends. And not have a stupid curfew.

My Secret Dirty Pleasure: The new Sum 41 CD is pretty rad. I used to be really into them like a year and a half ago or so. When I was still in my pop-punk phase. I admit I find the lead singer and the drummer of Sum 41 fucking hot. But that's not why I liked them. I enjoy their music. It's good pop-punk because it has metal influences. I remember when Sum 41 first started getting popular and got on MTV. I would vote on TRL for them. It's embarassing. I hate that TV show. They show like 30 seconds of every video and then you have to hear everyone's stupid "Shout Outs". And then they scream like fucking morons afterwards. And then you have them give the devil horns like Avril Lavigne does where she sticks out her thumbs. I wonder if they know that that means I Love You in sign language.

A.N.I.C. - Sum 41

You look like ass you smell like shit
so why are you such a dick.
You walk around like you're the tits
you always make me sick.
Bound for agony,
Your life's catastrophe.
You look like ass you smell like shit
so why are you such a dick.
You walk around like you're the tits
you always make me sick.
Bound for agony,
Your life's catastrophe.
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
you make me sick.

And that song is dedicated to Michael fucking Kearns.

Damn...I still need to get over this ex-boyfriend thing. Well I'm pretty over it. I just think he's an asshole. I don't bitch about him as much as I used to. But he was a major dick to me. It's enough to still anger me a bit. Half of the time when I do talk about him is to make fun of him. I make fun of the size of his dick and how he was my 30 second man. I know this makes me a bitch I guess. But I'm usually like that. I'm civil to almost all of my ex-lovers. I'm still like super good friends with Jeremy. And we were pretty serious for awhile.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Your Hidden Sexual Talent is Oral Sex

You Are Bikini Panties!